So I was pulling up to work today only to see a guy dancing like a maniac holding up a sign at the Daycare next door. You know those people who hold the signs for the ghetto Insurance places or for the new home developments, that was this guy, only HIS sign was announcing that the daycare was offering 50% off on enrollment. Now I wouldn't say I work in the ghetto, but this daycare is not one I would ever consider sending my kid to, and then they are offering their services 50% off?!?!?! When it comes to my child, I may pay half off on a new onesie, but NOT on his child care. That to me is almost as bad as buying underwear at a garage sale, you just don't do it! So this got me thinking, I LOVE a good deal as much as the next girl, but there are SOME things I am just NOT willing to get discounted or 2nd hand. A few of these things are...
1. UNDERWEAR- This is probably the most obvious, but when it comes to underwear I WILL NOT go discounted. I mean if Victoria's Secret was having a sale that's one thing, but I can't even bring myself to buy underwear or bras from Marshall's or TJ Maxx, they just freak me out.
2. Food- Day Old bread, dented cans, and all other "harmed" food I can't do. I know a lot of the dates on foods are the "Sell By" dates, but for me that date is the last day of consumption date.
3. Hair Accessories- I definitely won't buy these used, and again I probably would have to refrain at a "Discount Store" as well. You never know who's nasty hair a clip has been in, YUCK!
I am sure there are more that I can't think of right now, so you tell me, anything you wouldn't buy either at a discount store or used???
Monday, June 21, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
BOOOOO Soccer!
This entry is short and sweet, but I just have to say something...
I love sports, probably more than the average female, but I will NEVER get soccer, or the world's obsession with it. I mean we are talking about a sport where people run around in circles for an hour straight and you could watch half the game before anyone even ATTEMPTS a shot at goal. I mean come on, The Jonas Brothers try to score more often than these World Cup players, its ridiculous. I went to a professional soccer game once and I was LITERALLY bored to tears. The only positive thing I have found out of professional soccer is David Beckham and the fact that bars are open at 8am serving beer for watch parties. I know its summer and sports are hard to come by, but I will be tuning into the U.S. Open this weekend, NOT the World Cup.
I love sports, probably more than the average female, but I will NEVER get soccer, or the world's obsession with it. I mean we are talking about a sport where people run around in circles for an hour straight and you could watch half the game before anyone even ATTEMPTS a shot at goal. I mean come on, The Jonas Brothers try to score more often than these World Cup players, its ridiculous. I went to a professional soccer game once and I was LITERALLY bored to tears. The only positive thing I have found out of professional soccer is David Beckham and the fact that bars are open at 8am serving beer for watch parties. I know its summer and sports are hard to come by, but I will be tuning into the U.S. Open this weekend, NOT the World Cup.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Happy Birthday Mom!
Today is my Mom's 53rd birthday (she's going to kick my ass for telling you that), so I wanted to give her a shout out. My mom is hands down the greatest woman I know. She has worked her ass off for years to provide for us and she would give anyone the shirt off her back (I mean that figuratively, not literally, given the name of my blog I figured I needed to specify). And like any Mother/Daughter pair we have our fights, and yes she drives me crazy OFTEN, but she's my mother and I love her. Thanks to her I have my brains, my beauty, and my cellulite (just joking Mom... Sort of)! She is the backbone of our crazy family, the one who brings us all together, the one who drives us all crazy, and the one none of us could live without. So Happy Birthday Mom, I love you, here is to 53 more wild years!
Would You Rather of the Day...
I LOVE gay people and they love me! Mostly because I am totally open to the idea, I'm a big believer in "live and let live". I played softball my whole life so I learned about lesbians very early on and gay men tend to open up to me because I'm willing to listen. I ask for ALL of the details, details most of you won't want to hear about, but I love because I am a very nosey person. Plus I love when a guy can compliment me on my name brand jeans or ask me if my nail polish is "Lincoln Park After Dark"!!! I had an ex-coworker who is gay and I was asking him all about his "coming out" to his family and he said I reminded him of his mom because she asked him right out if he was the "pitcher or the catcher"? This got me thinking, as much as I love asking for all of the juicy details, I don't know if I would be able to ask my own son or daughter about their love life (no matter their sexual orientation). So that brings me to a question for all of you...
Would you rather...
Have a gay son or a lesbian daughter? As a mom I think I would prefer a gay son because he would be able to shop and gossip with me. We could dream of wearing Louboutins and go to Broadway shows together every time we visit New York. It would be like having a daughter without having to pay for tampons! Plus he'd bring home cute,well dressed boys for me to stare at when I am an old cougar. On the flip side with my softball background, I am very comfortable with lesbians, but I think if I had a lesbian daughter, I would want a "Lipstick Lesbian"(again mostly for shopping purposes). If my husband (or any dad for that mattter) answered this question I think he would prefer a butch lesbian daughter who was into the "Lipstick Lesbian" type, because then he could still check out all of the hotties she brought home... So I present you with the same question, Would you rather have a gay son or a lesbian daughter?
Would you rather...
Have a gay son or a lesbian daughter? As a mom I think I would prefer a gay son because he would be able to shop and gossip with me. We could dream of wearing Louboutins and go to Broadway shows together every time we visit New York. It would be like having a daughter without having to pay for tampons! Plus he'd bring home cute,well dressed boys for me to stare at when I am an old cougar. On the flip side with my softball background, I am very comfortable with lesbians, but I think if I had a lesbian daughter, I would want a "Lipstick Lesbian"(again mostly for shopping purposes). If my husband (or any dad for that mattter) answered this question I think he would prefer a butch lesbian daughter who was into the "Lipstick Lesbian" type, because then he could still check out all of the hotties she brought home... So I present you with the same question, Would you rather have a gay son or a lesbian daughter?
Who Sings this again...?
I was listening to the radio yesterday and I have decided that like most rappers these days, I will start EVERY conversation with my name. You may ask, “What do you mean Jamie?” Allow me to explain.
I hear the DJ say (in corny radio DJ voice) “And next up we have Jason Derulo’s “In My Head”. The music begins and the first words out of Jason’s mouth (yes we are on a first name basis) were, “Jasoooooon Derulo…Oh, Oh”. I mean there wasn't even 4 seconds between the DJ saying his name and then the singer AGAIN saying his name. Who do they think they have listening, goldfish? (For those of you who are unaware goldfish only have a 3 second memory span, so that was a funny joke). Jason Derulo In My Head... Hear for yourself.
It got me thinking, I know who is singing the song, the DJ just said it, and had I listened to the song on my iPod I would have to know who sang it as well in order to download it (illegally). So why do R&B artists feel the need to announce their name at the beginning of every song? I would say it’s a guy thing, but I have heard Rihanna, Beyonce, and other females do the same.
Because I too am a narcissist (that’s a genetic trait, which was passed on to me from my mother, and to her from her mother MY GRANDMA) I have decided that from here on out I will start every conversation that same way.
Here is an example. I am sitting in my office with our assistant, and she asks me how my weekend was, I respond with:
(In a sing-song voice) “Jamieeeeeeeee Smith… OH ,OH… (back to normal voice) It was good I went to Target bought a new dress and wore it out on Friday night.”
I think it’s important to do this, just so no one ever forgets who they are talking to, don’t you think?
I hear the DJ say (in corny radio DJ voice) “And next up we have Jason Derulo’s “In My Head”. The music begins and the first words out of Jason’s mouth (yes we are on a first name basis) were, “Jasoooooon Derulo…Oh, Oh”. I mean there wasn't even 4 seconds between the DJ saying his name and then the singer AGAIN saying his name. Who do they think they have listening, goldfish? (For those of you who are unaware goldfish only have a 3 second memory span, so that was a funny joke). Jason Derulo In My Head... Hear for yourself.
It got me thinking, I know who is singing the song, the DJ just said it, and had I listened to the song on my iPod I would have to know who sang it as well in order to download it (illegally). So why do R&B artists feel the need to announce their name at the beginning of every song? I would say it’s a guy thing, but I have heard Rihanna, Beyonce, and other females do the same.
Because I too am a narcissist (that’s a genetic trait, which was passed on to me from my mother, and to her from her mother MY GRANDMA) I have decided that from here on out I will start every conversation that same way.
Here is an example. I am sitting in my office with our assistant, and she asks me how my weekend was, I respond with:
(In a sing-song voice) “Jamieeeeeeeee Smith… OH ,OH… (back to normal voice) It was good I went to Target bought a new dress and wore it out on Friday night.”
I think it’s important to do this, just so no one ever forgets who they are talking to, don’t you think?
Welcome to "My Grandma the Whore"
So most of you are probably wondering why I have named my blog such a cruel and unusual name. Well if you must know, www.mygrandmotherwasmisunderstoodandcheatedonallthreeofherhusbands.blogspot.com was taken so here we are.
Really the name is twofold:
1. I have a marketing background, which helped in my realization that “My Grandma the Whore” is more likely to jump out at you than “Jamie Smith’s Blog”
2. I really do attribute most of the crazy shit that happens in my life either directly or indirectly to my Grandmother’s indiscretions. (Don’t worry this isn’t a blog about the life of a 76 year old lady).
You will also see sentences randomly written in bold-italic font. This is for those who were not blessed with the ability to pick up on sarcasm. I have learned via Facebook and Twitter that sarcasm doesn't translate well, so I have created my own sarcasm font. Note: The title of the blog itself is written in bold-italic.
I have no idea how often I will post, or if there will be any theme to the blog itself, but I hope you enjoy it.
Really the name is twofold:
1. I have a marketing background, which helped in my realization that “My Grandma the Whore” is more likely to jump out at you than “Jamie Smith’s Blog”
2. I really do attribute most of the crazy shit that happens in my life either directly or indirectly to my Grandmother’s indiscretions. (Don’t worry this isn’t a blog about the life of a 76 year old lady).
You will also see sentences randomly written in bold-italic font. This is for those who were not blessed with the ability to pick up on sarcasm. I have learned via Facebook and Twitter that sarcasm doesn't translate well, so I have created my own sarcasm font. Note: The title of the blog itself is written in bold-italic.
I have no idea how often I will post, or if there will be any theme to the blog itself, but I hope you enjoy it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)