I had the pleasure of hearing a man named Andy Hill speak last week at a work conference (yes I do have a real job, sometimes). He is a protege and past player for the great John Wooden (
), and spent a lot of time with Coach Wooden in the latter years of his life. Along with sharing Coach Wooden's "Pyramid of Success", the blueprint behind Coach Wooden's achievements, he spoke on one important factor that really rang true with me. He said that in order to truly excel, not only in basketball, the sport he coached, but in life, his players needed to have BALANCE. Now he wasn't referring to physical balance, but balancing their lives. This man was arguably the greatest basketball coach ever, but he would never agree that basketball was NUMBER 1. In this order he said it should be: Faith, Family, Friends, EDUCATION, THEN Basketball. Teaching this "balance" to his players, his "students" as he referred to them, was key in the triumphs he had, and hearing this was eye opening for me.
You see, I too was a college athlete. No I didn't play basketball at UCLA under the greatest coach ever (I let go of that dream after barely making the 8th grade B-Team), but I had a rigorous routine playing a Division 1 sport that took up a large portion of my time. Now what I am going to say next MIGHT offend some people, but the truth hurts so here goes. VERY, VERY, VERY few college athletes will ever go pro in their sport. Try not to freak out, I know its heartbreaking, but it is the truth. Now here is the real kicker, even fewer FEMALE athletes will go pro. AHHHHHHHH, I know it's so crazy!!! Let me share some statistics with you all compliments of
High school players: 471,025
College players: 31,264
Draftees: 806
Football: 1.7% of college players play professionally, 0.08% of high school players do
High school players: 1,108,441
College players: 67,887
Draftees: 255
Men's ice hockey: 1.3% of college players play professionally, 0.1% of high school players do
High school players: 36,912
College players: 3,944
Draftees: 11
Men's basketball: 1.2% of college players play professionally, 0.03% of high school players do
High school players: 545,844
College players: 17,500
Draftees: 48
Women's basketball: 0.9% of college players play professionally, 0.03% of high school players do
High school players: 438,933
College players: 15,708
Draftees: 32
So, as you can see, the numbers are small, and if you are female athlete playing ANYTHING but basketball, you can bet they are EVEN SMALLER! What's my point?
I personally know when I was playing softball in college, balance was NOT something my coach preached. We used to joke that we were Athlete-Students, not Student-Athletes because we had to pick our course schedule around practice times, or weight lifting times, or conditioning times, even if it was the ONLY time they offered a specific course. Remember the order Coach Wooden said: Faith, Family, Friends, Education, (insert sport here). Most college coaches I know prefer the order of: Sport, Sport, Trainer, Sport, Education (only so you are eligible to play said sport), Sport.
There was a girl on my team my senior year who was going to miss a FALL practice (we play softball in the spring) to go home for her baby sister's First birthday. Our coach wouldn't allow it. Once we all told her she needed to let the girl go, she made her do 3 times the workout we did to make up for it. Now, I don't want to pick on my college coach, because she is not the only one who coaches this way, I just thought that was a great example of putting Sports WAY ahead of Family (number 2 on Wooden's list). I watched this kind of push from coaches, the push to obsess over one thing, your sport, ruin people's careers. Pushing them into injuries, burning out and quitting, or worse, pushing them so far that when their final season was over, they literally didn't know what to do or where to go. They were literally lost without their sport.
I wish I could say college coaches are the only ones who incorporate a lack of balance with kids today, but that wouldn't be fair. It's in high schools too, and even scarier, it's at home. Did you know they now have Select/Travel teams for 6 year olds?!?! SIX years old!!! You wouldn't even be able to autograph a baseball at 6 years old (if they still taught cursive), so why on Earth do we have kids practicing 3 times a week and playing 6 -8 games a weekend when they are SIX! Kids should be at home playing with FAMILY, FRIENDS, reading books, doing school work. At six you don't know how to manage your time, you just think "My parents told me if I want to be in the big leagues like Derek Jeter, or XYZ player, I have to play select baseball 9 days a week, because that's what the pros did." Let me start by saying, that is NOT what the pros did, because 20-30 years ago, parents would be lynched for letting their 6 year olds play select baseball. We are brainwashing our children to believe that they have one thing and one thing only to live for, and that is their sport. When we should be teaching them that HARD work gets you far, not necessarily MORE work. I think back to our hour long weightlifting sessions in college and laugh. We were 20 girls, at 6am, with a trainer who was half awake at best, messing around and going through the motions. Now that I do Cross Fit, a sport that focuses on high intensity, full body workouts, I realize we literally threw that time in the weight room right out the window. I can get far more out of a 20 minute Cross Fit workout, than I ever did in an hour in that weight room, because I am working harder not longer.
In high school I played with, literally, the top 5 best softball players in central Texas. I mean they were THE best and had been the BEST their whole lives. They ate, drank, and slept softball... DO you know how many of those 5 played all 4 years of college... 1. ONE! Because when you get to college, EVERYONE was the best in their area (except me), and that natural talent, that GIFT, isn't enough anymore, you have to work HARD to be the best now. But you still can't lose sight of the balance, and you cannot confuse working hard with working more. I was NEVER the best player on the field. Not in high school, and certainly not in college. Part of why I think I was able to excel was I NEVER made it my whole entire life. I always had a social life. I partied, probably more than most teenagers should, I always had a job when I wasn't in season, and I was in other extracurricular activities (Theatre Arts, what what!). I would like to think I had balance. (Humility is also a strong suit of mine).
I have been known to be a little stubborn, so when I got to college, I wasn't willing to change. Did I still go to 6am weightlifting, followed by 5 hours of class, followed by practice, then mandatory study hall? Yes, because even though I had balance, I loved the game, and had worked too hard not to do what I needed to in order to play. I was always willing to work hard during the time allotted for practice, but I will also admit that I was rarely the one taking extra reps on my own, or spending extra time in the weight room. We were given summer workouts to do on our own, I didn't do them. That was my "off season", that was my "ME" time or social time, not softball time. And you can bet your ass that as soon as study hall was over each night, instead of going to bed, like many of my teammates, I shined up my fake ID, put on my tightest pair of jeans, and hit the bars with friends until 2-4am. Then got up at 6am again the next day to do it again! Was I tired, yes, was I hungover, often, but I never felt like I really missed out on anything, and because of that, softball was never a burden for me, and I knew when it was over, I would have other things in my life.
The problem is, if we teach these kids that this sport is all they are, or who they are... The day it ends, and it will end, they find themselves totally lost. The best baseball player on our high school team got a scholarship to play at a great school, some things happened, he was kicked off the team, and never recovered. He WAS baseball, without it, school didn't matter, he only did his work so he could play ball, it had become his identity to the point that when baseball was lost, so was he. It amazes me when I see people who were SO physically fit while playing their sport, and then they gain a lot of weight when it is over. They literally have NO IDEA how to workout or stay in shape without the routine they were used to following while playing their sport, because that is all they ever knew.
Do we want that for our kids? Do we want them to feel like without this one THING they aren't worthy? Don't get me wrong, not a day goes by that I don't miss softball. Not one single day. There is nothing that compares to the relationships built and the amazing plays where you save the game and feel so elated, no drug could get you that high, and that I miss EVERY DAY. Did a little part of me end when softball ended, sure, but it didn't end ME. Not all of me. I know that when one chapter ends another will begin. I was a damn good bar league player for a few years, and now I have a son who this Spring will strap on his cleats for the first time and play. Will he play Select/Travel tee-ball? Absolutely not. He will play the game, learn the game, go home and play with his Ninja Turtles, and go to birthday parties on the weekends, and if by the time he is 10 he still loves the game and wants to make a commitment to play it that often, he can. But the moment his school work slips, or it interferes with family events, we will pull back. I will not let him believe all he is is his sport, because he is so much more than that, and I want him to know he has more to live for than just his sport. I want him to work hard and be committed to ANYTHING he does, but he has to be able to balance hard work with his sport, his school work, his relationships with family and friends, and most of all with God.
We wonder why we live in an age where kids feel entitled. They have been told they were the best at this one thing their whole life, and when that one thing is over, they want to be told they are the best at some other thing, only there is no other thing, because they never took the time or energy to work on anything else. It's our job as parents, as teachers, as coaches to be sure these kids know there is more out there. If we push them to believe that their sport is the number one top priority, they will believe that, and then when that sport is over, where will they be? What will they have left? We need to teach them that you can be a really great baseball player, and father, and brother, and youth group leader, and teacher, and on and on... No one ever said we all only get "one thing" to be great at, it's about learning to work hard at anything and everything you do, and from that all encompassing hard work comes balance.
Now ask yourself, do you have balance?
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